The art of enjoying a simple country birthday party.

Some people would automatically turn up their noses at small town life. They think that there is nothing exciting that ever happens. I have to say for the most part it is true. Small towns mean everyone knows everyone else's business. Take tonight for example. I found out who was married to whom and who was cheating on their husbands and wives.

Yes, you do have inner circles where this kind of thing happens but in a small town it is on a much grander scale. This is newsworthy stuff here folks. You go to a party and if you have a trusty guide...you can find out all you want to know about everyone rather quickly. It is fun but I can imagine that if you are on the receiving end it could be quite traumatic. Let's not see if I can be on the receiving end...okay?

I actually managed to go out this weekend on both nights. One night was fun and tonight was interesting. I did make new friends that made me laugh. But it reminded me once again that I'm a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. No one really knew how to react to the fact that I'm a writer. I don't know how to make small talk so that ruled me out. And of course the biggest things involved who my parents are and what they did when they ran around town. That was a bit eye opening. My mom and dad the party animals. lol

One major downside to small towns is memory. People in a small town will remember exactly what you did on May 10th, 1999. You may have been drunk and forgotten it but they remember exactly. That happened to me tonight. Someone brought up the past and I tried to act like I remembered but the truth is that I didn't. I didn't have the foggiest clue as to what they were talking about.

The problem isn't with me blocking it out. Though who knows...maybe I did? The fact is that my depression, bipolar disorder/borderline personality disorder makes remembering things from my past very hard. I have no idea what I did a year ago much less five or ten years ago. I'm a different person now. I wish I could say I am smarter but it is more like I'm more jaded. Back then I was young and dumb. I thought I knew what the world was about. It really is true that age changes everything. I know that I have changed tremendously since then. I guess we all do with time and experiences though.