A brand new day

Well, today is day two of the diet and exercise plan. I think I failed in the diet plan yesterday because I only ate once. I did try a new diet spray that is supposed to curb your appetite and give you energy. I don't know what is in it but it did boost my energy and it definitely curbed my appetite. It was also very sweet. I'll try it again in a bit. The directions are to spray it beneath your tongue fifteen minutes prior to eating. So I'll give it a shot. Most diet pills and such give me a massive headache but this one didn't.

Yesterday was a day for trying to move forward into the future. The night before I really was feeling the pain of a lost love. So I wrote down what I wanted to say to him. I don't know if I ever really meant to mail it but at the last moment yesterday I sent it to him in an email. I laid myself bare for him. I've never been that deep and honest with any guy or any one...ever. I've changed a lot since our relationship ended. I'm not the person that I was then and I want him to see that. I hope he is a different person as well. I wasn't asking him to continue on with the past relationship and just pick up where we left off. No, I was asking to start fresh because obviously the old way just was not going to work. It required us both changing and being able to admit that we were flawed.

It is hard to make those type of fundamental changes but I hope that he sees that I have. I hope he has as well because I want the possibility of a future with him. I want to see where our grand adventure together can take us. We are okay apart but I know that we are incredible together. He is the only ex from my past that I've ever felt that way about. Not a day has gone by when I didn't rue what had happened.

I've read that if you truly believe in the positive aspects of something you desire, that the Universe will grant them to you. I believe that sometimes you have to walk through Hell to get to the place you need to be. I know that the last seven months have been hell for me. I want to know that there is something positive from it all. Yes, I'm a stronger more caring person but I also want some relief. He is like an oasis to me. He makes me laugh and calms me. I have always enjoyed talking with him. So maybe, just maybe if I believe hard enough, pray hard enough and think positively...this will be the thing that comes through for me.